sometimes...

oh..dah taip panjang-panjang baru perasan bahasa inggeris..adehh..nak baca, baca la..tak ada apa menarik pun..tak ada gambar, tak ada apa-apa pun..maaf la..bila dalam bahasa inggeris maknanya apakah? haha pandai-pandai la anda teka..
i don't know what has gotten into me..i feel like...entah..it's one of those days where i don't want to do anything..lie on the bed...staring at the ceiling...but then this morning i fight the feeling, the emotion..get up, have my shower...thank goodness it's Sunday!
it's one of those days where i don't want to eat anything..but then i manage to boil the water..amik nestum, merangkak ke peti sejuk, tuang susu..nasib baik perut tak meragam..dia faham budak perempuan ni..sayang perut! 
it's one of days where i don't want to move any limbs, any parts of my body..but then i'm typing this anyway..jump in to blogs and entries..reading entries was no fun at all today..spending the morning facing the homepage of facebook..trying to gain back the mood, the energy, the feel of..life somewhat..have a chat with...i don't know his name..sorry awak saya dah lupa nama awak la..turned up the chat wasn't good as it seem since i'm not quite well..he's a blogger too though..thanks for cheering me up this morning, WS :)
maybe sometimes we need..i need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning for the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our mind exactly what we want our heart to feel...sometimes we just have to go with the flow...yeah, i do that
you know what? tragedies happen..what are you going to do? give up? quit? no. i realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. because you are and that pain you feel, it's life...the confusion, the fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.
but i don't wanna fight no more..i want people to fight for me..sounds like i give up the life ain't it?
"even if the path is a bit blurry, keep walking, Allah with guide you, with prayers of course..just dont give up, and have faith in Allah"
i tweeted that yesterday you know..sekarang rasa nak give up pulak? *tampar muka sendiri 3 kali* i'm trying to choke down the feeling..because sometimes it's easier to say "i hate you" than  "i miss you"..because sometimes, it's easier to think, "screw life life, screw school, screw everything!" than admit that you're overwhelmed and feel like you're drowning..because sometimes it's easier to admit the simple things than say the hard things and realize how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control...i thought everything is ok now..tapi entah la..
panjangnya...biar panjang..saya nak berhenti blogging kejap..tak lama pun..5 hari ke seminggu je.. :)

psst~ tak larat nak bangun..tak ok ni.. :( *budak ni mengada, jangan layan!*



~maaf kerana penggunaan 'aku' pada yang lebih berusia~

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